I have spent lots of time on this blog warning parents what not to do: Don’t let your personal convenience get in the way of safety. Don’t be desensitized by popular culture and entertainment and the news media to the dangers of driving. Don’t be lulled into the false belief that a well behaved, responsible teen who has taken driver’s education and passed the state’s road test is a safe driver. Don’t be reckless or indifferent. Etc.
A friend recently asked me: “OK, so what should a parent’s attitudes be?” Here are my top six:
- Understand and accept the dangers of teen driving as your baseline.
- Be willing to say “no” to your teen, especially at three stages: when teens say they are ready to get a learner’s permit but your heart and head tell you that they are not ready yet; when they want to graduate from learner’s permit to licensed solo driving and you have the same fear; and when your licensed driver, day by day, runs into circumstances, such as fatigue or stress, that counsel you to say “no driving today.”
- Use your parent power to withhold car keys when you need to.
- Be vigilant day by day for the situations described on this blog: purposeful driving v joyriding, managing curfews, prohibiting passengers, prohibiting texting, not buying a car for a teen’s own use, using a traffic ticket as a teaching moment, signing and following a teen-parent driving agreement.
- When in doubt, err on the side of being conservative. There is simply no room for error when we manage teen drivers.
- Approach parenting your teen driver with the attitude of working together to make safety the top priority.
