FROM REID'S DAD

a blog for parents of teen drivers

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On Sunday January 12 I had the honor of being a guest on the Mr. Dad Positive Parenting radio program hosted by Armin Brott. The show was broadcast on KOIT in the San Francisco area and is now posted as a podcast. Looking at the list of prior guests on this show and the scope of Mr. Brott’s national following on parenting issues, it was a delight to be able to introduce Not So Fast to his audience. Here is the link:


http://www.mrdad.com/positive-parenting/not-so-fast/


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Yes, this post is not strictly for parents of teen driving, though it does fit with my ongoing concern, shared of course by many others, that in-vehicle, dashboard mounted electronics are on occasion getting entirely out of hand, and this can have an impact on both parents as role models and teens who follow their lead.


So, I noted recently, in an article written for the Tribune Newspapers by Paresh Dave, entitled “Useful versus wasteful,” highlighting two new pieces of equipment presented at the Los Angeles Auto Show: a “bidirectional camera that sits atop or within the panel behind the steering wheel,” and a “photo gallery app” for a dashboard mounted screen.


To which I can only ask: Really? As always, my position is not that we should ban in-vehicle electronics, but that they should be limited to those that help with driving, navigation and safety; they should be simple to use; and every step should be taken to ensure that they are used only when the car is stationary. These two new gadgets don’t meet any part of this test.


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The relatively new science of the human brain and distracted driving seems to be gradually exposing, as myth, the idea that texting and use of cell phones and in-vehicle electronics is not distracting because humans are good at multi-tasking. The reality is that our mental capacity to process situations, including dangerous ones, is a so-called “zero sum game.” When we use electronic devices while driving, we don’t just add a task and do both well, but rather we switch from driving to whatever the distraction is, and as a result, driving attention and skill decrease.


Well, to add to this concern, the article linked below discusses a study, newly published in the New England Journal of Medicine, which among other things notes that one reason teens are more at risk when using cell phones and other electronic devices, in addition to the physical distraction of using the device, is that the still-developing teen brain is even less adept at dividing attention among tasks. In other words, it is not just that teens are culturally more prone to text, but when they do so they are even less able than adults at performing what might be called multi-tasking, which also means they are less able to refocus their attention on the traffic situation when their use of the electronic device is finished.


I will grant that this is a subtle addition to our knowledge of this subject, and it probably does not make a difference in the only sensible advice to parents about teen drivers and electronic devices — zero tolerance. But I think it is always helpful for parents to know all of the aspects of why teens are more crash prone when they use electronic devices. This new study illuminates one more corner of the problem.


Here is the link, which at the end has a link to the Journal study itself (and thanks to my work colleague Ed Parks for sending the article):


http://ca.news.yahoo.com/distracted-driving-bigger-problem-novice-drivers-220755717.html


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On December 14, the one year anniversary of the Sandy Hook shootings, the Hartford Courant accorded me the honor of publishing the lead op-ed article. The link is below:


http://www.courant.com/news/opinion/hc-op-hollister-grieving-parents-slowly-come-to-te-20131213,0,1436719.story


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I am pleased to pass along information from the AAA Club of southern New England about their 2014 video and poster contest:


The AAA 2014 Traffic Safety Message Contest is now underway. Students in grades K-12 are encouraged to create a video or a poster to promote safe practices regarding pedestrian, bike, passenger and driver safety. Please see the attached brochure for details or visit www.AAA.com/safetymatters.


AAA will award a $1,000 grand prize to the winner as well as monetary prizes for 1st, 2nd, 3rd place and honorable mention winners in each state of AAA Southern New England’s region (CT, RI and MA, including Salem, NH).


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Nelson Mandela is being praised around the world for his work in overcoming apartheid and promoting integration and understanding among racial groups, but he also has a legacy in traffic safety. His great -granddaughter Zenani was killed in a car crash in South Africa in 2010. Out of that tragedy came the worldwide Long Short Walk campaign for pedestrian and traffic safety, which I wrote about on this blog on May 14,2013. At the Global Youth Traffic Safety Month event in Washington DC on May 8, I had the honor of meeting Kweku Mandela, Nelson’s grandson and a cousin of Zenani. Perhaps one measure of Nelson Mandela’s worldwide influence was that he lost his granddaughter in 2010 — and within two years he and his family had founded and promoted a worldwide advocacy movement in her honor.


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The article linked below, which was tweeted by the National Safety Council, is an excellent summary of the risks involved when drivers start send or read text messages while their foot is on the brake and the vehicle is stopped. The problems include not paying attention to when it is safe to proceed, slow starts that congest traffic and annoy other drivers, failures to perceive changes in the traffic situations while looking at the cell phone, and going forward without taking the time to view and comprehend the surrounding traffic.


This article is an important reminder for parents of teen drivers, that their warnings about, and steps to prevent, texting need to include whenever the car is not in Park. Parent-teen driving agreements need to make this clear: no use of any electronic device that could be a distraction “when the car is not in Park.” Here is the link:


http://www.prospectusnews.com/texting-at-stoplight-an-accident-waiting-to-happen-1.3125782#.UqCRL6U31a8


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Seven years ago today, Reid left us too soon.


For a long time — in fact, until recently — I regularly counted the weeks and then months and then years that had passed since that cataclysmic day. I suppose I was trying to defy the passage of time by keeping track of it, making sure that Reid’s memory was not fading, no matter how many days had gone by.


In the past several months, I now realize, I have stopped counting, and the primary reason is that Ellen, Martha and I have witnessed so many of you embrace Reid’s story as part of the cause of safer teen driving. In a very real way, seven years after his passing, Reid’s star is rising. Your enthusiastic support for From Reid’s Dad and now Not So Fast have shown us that you are our partners in tending to Reid’s legacy. It is hard to express how gratifying and comforting this feels.


I have often said that I did not start my From Reid‘s Dad blog or publish Not So Fast as therapy for our family tragedy; I launched into writing because after serving on Connecticut’s Safe Teen Driving Task Force, I was convinced that there is a big gap nationally in the information available to parents of teen drivers, and someone needed to fill it. The motivation has always been, “How can I not do this?”. The blog and book have been public service, not emotional recovery.


But a funny thing happened on the way to the bookstore . If my subliminal goal, shared by so many parents who have lost a child, was to make sure Reid did not die in vain, then this year, it appears that that has been arranged. Reid is becoming one of the national faces of safer teen driving, through the loving help of Our Safe Teen Driving Friends.


This realization was slow to emerge; there was no epiphany or magic moment. Perhaps the September 9, 2013 Launch Party for Not So Fast came the closest - 150 friends gathered to celebrate in a room where, front and center, was a poster of Reid — adorned with balloons.


Our family will always have what the writer Anna Quindlen has called “a chasm deep in the middle of who we are,” a feeling of loss that never goes away. But this year, with your help, we have the distinct sense of something gained, of a counterweight to Reid’s loss. He has become less of a memory and more of mantle. Seven years after he died, Reid is saving lives. It’s a great feeling.


I have debated whether to end this post with a list of those we want to thank, for fear of leaving someone or some organization out, but decided to take the risk. So, by way of giving a shout-out to everyone who has helped with From Reid’s Dad and Not So Fast, from Ellen, Martha and me, THANK YOU ALL:

· Cathy Gillen

· Curt Clarisey

· Joy Tutela

· Everyone at Chicago Review Press and Independent Publishers Group

· Pam Fischer

· The Denver 2013 Lifesavers Conference Focus Group

· Dr. Kelly Browning and Impact Teen Drivers

· Garry Lapidus, Kevin Borrup, Dr. Brendan Campbell, and everyone at Ct Children’s Medical

· Everyone at Kohl’s Stores

· Bill Seymour, Commissioner Currey and the DMV Teen Driving Advisory Committee

· Sherry Chapman and everyone at Mourning Parents Act

· Sandy Spavone, Lindsay Colcombe and everyone at NOYS and FCCLA

· Duby McDowell

· Everyone at Asylum Hill Congregational Church

· Erin Meluso and Roy Bavaro of NOYS and Penny Wells of SADD

· Starrla Penick of MADD

· Bruce Hamilton, Peter Kissinger and Jack Hoch of AAA Foundation

· Diana Dias, Dave Raposa, and Fran Mayko of AAA of Southern New England

· Kathleen Miklus, Friends of the Simsbury Library, and the Ct-N Television Network

· Monika Samtani of WUSA TV in Washington DC

· Dave Wallace, the Traffic Safety Guy

· Bob Green and John Berger of Survive the Drive

· Paula Fahy Ostop and her colleagues at Go Media

· John Dankofsy and everyone at WNPR Radio

· My Shipman & Goodwin colleagues and co-workers, especially our School Law Group and Marketing Department

· Those who have posted reviews on Amazon

· Those who have contributed to Reid’s Memorial Fund over and above buying books

· Publishers Weekly and Library Journal, for the five-star reviews

· Chairman Deborah Hersman, Jenny Cheek and Stephanie Davis of the National Transportation Safety Board

· State Representatives Tony Guerrera, Tim Ackert, and David Scribner

· Administrator David Strickland and everyone at NHTSA, especially Region 1

· Jonathan Adkins and everyone at GHSA

· Allan Williams and Secretary Norman Mineta

· Dr. Bella Dinh-Zarr

· Joe Cristalli, Robbin Cabelus, and Juliet Little of Connecticut DOT

· Pina Violano of Yale-New Haven Hospital

· Kirsten Hawkins and the American Academy of Pediatrics

· Jen Stockburger and Ami Ghadia of Consumer Reports

· Dave Preusser and Neil Chaudhary

· Rick Green and Rose Lichtenfels of the Hartford Courant

· Mark Pazniokas of the Ct Mirror

· The professional driving schools owners and instructors of ADTSEA and NETSEA

· Maureen Vogel everyone at National Safety Council and the Drive It Home website

· Everyone at Ford Driving Skills for Life

· Brandi Anderson Nannini and Jaime Alvis and everyone at the Century Council and IKnowEverything

· Sharon Silke Carty and everyone at AOL Autos and the Huffington Post

· Janette Fennell at Kids and Cars

· Kym Drake and everyone at IDriveSafely

· Melanie Batenchuk at BeCarChic

· Hillary Rettig

· Seth Maloney

· Julie and Lloyd Garner of Project Yellow Light

· Joan Hunt and the Reminder News

· Jim MacPherson, The Car Doctor

· Andrea Obston

· Radio host Mary Jones

· Patrice McCabe and the Ct Association of Boards of Education


Wishing you all of the joys of the holiday season.


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I have been asked by the Century Council and its IKnowEverything program to submit a series of guest posts. Here is the first one!


https://twitter.com/IKnowEverything/status/405711176979324928


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A Bad Ad

November 29, 2013

I am going to call a technical foul on Subaru for its recent TV commercial entitled “Stick Shift.” It shows a father instructing his teenage son in how to drive a stick shift, while the boy’s twin brother sits in the back seat. The car lurches forward as the father pleads with his son to put the car in second gear. The twin in the back accuses his brother of wrecking the car. The message is that Subaru’s are built tough enough to handle training a teen driver.


By showing a sibling in the back seat during driving instruction, the commercial shows conduct that is illegal in several states, and that most of the driving instructors I have talked to say is a bad idea. They say that a driving lesson should be a driving lesson, undistracted by siblings or any other passenger. The ad also implies that there is nothing wrong with having a sibling as a passenger, which is not so. As the saying goes, “Do you want to trust your most precious cargo to your least experienced driver?” Recently in Minnesota, one of a teen driver’s three younger sibling passengers was killed on the way to school. Lastly, how many teens today drive a stick shift, and isn’t a stick shift one more challenge that a new driver doesn’t need?


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